Breathe in, breathe out.

The problem is, I want to stop feeling. Why feel when happiness is short-lived anyway. Don't want to risk falling any deeper. I am the only one who can pull myself out of this shithole. Need to get out of this glass bubble and face reality, look deeper into things and finally realise that humanity is not what it appears to be. Hypocrites, we are. Backstabbers, liars, leeches, bitches, jerks... Problems of a first world country hurhur. Seeking perfection in every way possible is akin to riding on the path of insanity. Frigging give up on everything. So many goddamn formulas to remember for EG1109 MA1505 PC1431. Gonna be the one supporting the bell curve for the cheena pongzzzz, bloody hell. Monday was self-declared pon GEM lecture (again, omg for the 4th time consecutively?) and macs breakfast with GEM people! A eats likka kid deprived of hotcakes omg. Drenching everything in maple syrup omg yucks. Dinner was with KP, T, S and C as usual. S is likka retard omg sucks to have his surn...

fat girl ftw. tuanyuanfan @ gparents' house, sitting at the teppanyaki side=bbqed food and not boiled ones. but still v yummy cny first day - gparents' house again, followed by grandaunt's place. the much anticipated kueh pie tee was eaten up by our distant fatty cousins grrrrr. so much for saving our stomach space at gparents' house earlier. cny second day - camped at gparents' house, grandmum's sisters and their families visited. mega boring, idk anyone there at all just collect ang paos only $_$ cny third day - lunch at dad's half indian friend's place. omg super nice fusion of food: indian curry, malay beef rendang, roti sth, chinese chup chye yummy ttm! then followed by dinner at bon's place bon has got to be the nicest host ever - shabu shabu, wine, dessert! i think we messed up his house and there were a lot of leftovers but it was still great fun, esp watching him make his blueberry-apple pie which suddenly made cooking seem so easy. tmr ...

Image credit: Macroons by ~smokinjay, fat girl blues by *visceral, Walk Away by `larafairie, fashiontoast.com Today the dentist treated the three of us to Nasi Padang (?) at a restaurant at The Central. We completed the meal with yummy desert until the patient rang up to request for lift access to the clinic. C was laughing at me when i was trying to gulp down the last bit of my ice kacang (first time I enjoyed it cos no one stopped me from ordering ice kacang without beans). Being fat is okay only when no one reminds you that you're gaining weight. Which is not the case here. Sadly. I like eating. But eating=gaining weight. But not eating=/=losing weight. I like stomaches and diarrhoeas, but the stomach is working fine (of all times) Laxatives. No. What else?

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag Drifting throught the wind Wanting to start again Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin Like a house of cards One blow from caving in Do you ever feel already buried deep Six feet under scream But no one seems to hear a thing Do you know that there's still a chance for you Cause there's a spark in you You just gotta ignite the light And let it shine Just own the night Like the Fourth of July ( hehehe) Fireworks - Katy Perry I. Need. A. Job. >:( Post As has been pretty fun but the thought of spending another 6 months playing and rotting away doesn't seem very appealing after all. With my allowance of $200+ per month, going out everyday and spending close to $30 each day on food+movies+shopping means that I'm spending beyond my means. I should start jogging regularly now too :/ Oh yaaaaaa overdue pictures hehe. 3dec10-fruit farm+ostrich farm Was greeted by a v interesting sight when we entered. Not our fault lol, we chanced upon two ...

Off to the ostrich farm at JB tmr (or rather, today) with 3 generations of Tans haha! Never been on a one day tour together with my cousins+grandparents before heehee. Maybe I'll get to bring back an ostrich egg (and hatch it under my pillow) or get an ostrich soft toy souvenir and add to my current collection on my bed~ Introducing my yet-to-be-named-even-after-2-years-pig-from-kristabelle and scratchy and itchy (from and named by yknwwho). I'm STILL a fat slosh even after exercising. Haha ytd supper was chocolate chip cookies, and today it was coffee milk *very niceeeee*. I hate visiting blogs that are filled with food pictures cos that mental list in my brain on places to go for lunch dates will keep expanding and it's super hard to resist the urge to eat grrrr. I had Soup Spoon consecutively for two days alr, ice cream from Mr Bean (very yummy and refreshing~) and brownies. Damnit all the exercise and sweat wasted. Hur like what he says, the only way to my heart is not ...

without home cooked food. Getting damn sick of this already but it'll prob continue on like that for the next few years or so. Told my dad i miss home cooked soup, then he was like so easy, got marmite, and went to make his instant soup. My brother took a sip and went to spit it out in the toilet. Anti-marmite, like my mum. I shall master the art of cooking a decent meal for the family

waking up to the sickening smell of durians is a horrible experience.

Heh randomly browsing around online and i chanced upon M&M'S website. Ahhhh all the yummy cookies, cakes and brownies that's decorated with M&M minis. Okayyyy I'll get M&M's tmr and make my sister bake for me hehe since she has all the time in the world now. And constipation kills . Damnit.

today's romantic dinner for my brother and i was prepared by yours truly. One casserole of rice mixed with jap seasoning and instant miso soup. I forgot i have a brother with a huge appetite, so he finished all th rice, leaving me with like 3 spoonfuls -.- Hmmm apart from food, school's okay. Pw's finally over. Oh manzzz, i forgot to shake like all their hands and tell them i'll never ever speak to them again for th rest of jc. Got into h3 internal math. Bad choice. Suicide subject. Th calender's packed with alot of activities. Short family holiday in malaysia, followed by philippines service learning trip. On another note, my sister went prom shopping with my mum and grandmum and she bought 2 dresses whilst there was another PURPLE one for me ^^