Breathe in, breathe out.

Sacrificing relationships as a result of pursuing my wants. But I'm not done yet. How ironic. I still want time to do JSP@NUH, driving lessons, Mrs L's english thing, relief teaching, coffee bean barista, gong cha/koi crew, admin work at some office... It's funny how I can still remain so aloof despite knowing that I've lost so many good friends over just this period of a month or so. Must have been my procrastination at work. Cancelling appointments the day before, ignoring a lot of messages, skipping outings because I'm too tired... What the hell. Intern is finally ending on 31st Jan (Y) Made good friends with the nurses (who are older than me by 10-20 years); listened to their nurses' small talk which made me realise that if I don't correct my PMSsy behaviour, my colleagues in the future would likewise bitch about me to the newer workers. Walked down Clarke Quay/SGP river today during lunch with them. Reminded me of the time when M, TF and I pang sehed th...

HAH i just deactivated my FB account. One distraction down finally. Need to concentrate on my tasks at hand and deadlines to meet. Missed the SMU and NUS scholarship/application deadlines even after M reminded me of it. My bad. Bad time management + procrastination. Wondering if I made a mistake in not applying for UK/US unis, since the cost of studying med/dentistry in UK is the same as studying in Aust. The whole of the last week interning has been a test of my patience. Yes impatient patients testing the patience of an 18 year old intern who happens to have zilch experience in PR skills. I don't know how the nurses can deal with them over the phone, like they scold you over the phone and I just passed the phone to the nurse to deal with him/her and when he/she arrived for his/her appt, I glared very hard at the said person, of course being a part of the clinic means I have to give that mandatory smile so heh fake smile to the rescue~ I think i have some bipolar problem cos I can...

GUESS WHO CAME DOWN TO THE CLINIC TODAY??? :) Hahahah she's vvvvvvvvvvv pretty and skinny (like srsly very ) even tho she looks so chubby in newspapers and on tv!!! She's coming again tmr but geezzzz my cam is in my dad's car :( But she behaves like how she does huh (like yknw leopard preenzzzzz) but still she's v down-to-earth and nice hehe.

So close to reaching That famous happy ending Almost believing This one's not pretend Now you're beside me And look how far we've come So far We are So close... so close -jon mclaughlin hmmmm work has been vvvvvv tiring since my working hours odd, but the dr has been rly patient (but can tell im stretching his temper abit tho), and my colleague is vvvvvv sweet she made milo for me when we had to skip dinner! there was a day when the last patient for that day was super cute. she was in her early 30s, but sup dolled up. she came for implantation treatment but wanted sth else more to correct her teeth alignment. so she casually asked the dentist what other treatments was avail since she thought she was "too old for braces". so the dentist stared into her mouth and she covered it up immed, claiming that she was self conscious. damn funny then cos i thought it was abit of a dumb blonde moment heheheh like the dentist has to stare hard at your teeth to decide what sort ...

''People hold on to something because they fear that nothing great will ever happen to them again.'' For my case, there's nothing even THAT 'great' to hold onto. Very highly inefficient ppl indeed. But who am i to criticize them? Screw you screw you screw you. But swearing is OKAY, so screw this. Sometimes i think you'll be happier if i... Nvm that's just a hypothesis. after CTS, there's this sense of inferiority, like i can nvr match up to the class standard now, everyone's smarter, everyone's more hardworking. Then it all boils down to time management. There are ppl who still do so well, councillors, sports team players, so wth is wrong with my time management. Maybe extra commitments that i won't ever get a chance to shrug off hurhur.

This is to die for :) Love the tiny lil' hearts on the leggings. Should stop wasting my time looking at all these online cos J2 life is like 99.9999% in school and hardly any time for more fun stuff. In the end, we didn't get to go for annual Sentosa gathering cos we were all too busy >:( Okay it's not a gathering cos we've already been meeting up almost every week the past year for YFC stuff anyway :\ Go go go go go YOU CAN DO IT~~~

Don't dwell on the past. Your history can't be erased, but your future has yet to be written. Make the most of what's going to happen instead of worrying about what you can't change. Don't waste your time being sad, because you're wasting away moments in which you could be happy. (-via runawaytrain ) I spent my whole afternoon clearing up all my old msn chat logs, some random unclassified documents and started reminiscing a bit. Forgiving is easy, but forgetting is the difficult part I realized. Once bitten, twice shy, you won't ever fully trust the person who's hurt you once. There's this distinct line drawn that separates you from him; he can't ever cross that line. School's starting soon. Wow all the homework pile, plus SAT preparation (!!!). To top the list, I still haven't figured out what exactly I would like to see myself as in 10 years time. Vet? Pilot? Gynae? Dentist? Argh. Okay there's still another year to decide... I envy ...

All those hallucinations. Like those flashes of weird visions. I pictured your death. It's freaky. But better than drowning i guess... I feel yucky i don't want to go to school tmr. Like i'm radiating heat but i'm shivering. T.T And there, the mask comes on again. H3 math tmr again. Nooooo

Today's H3 math was scary. Cold jokes which only th RA kids understand. *coughs* Lecture notes which don't give you space to write answers to th examples. Proving questions using uh, contrapositive and whatever shitty methods. Bryan and his friend made some bet, like see whether their combined H3 math scores can beat Ivan's. Haha 100 bucks on that! Okay nevertheless, i've heard how chem is super content based, and physics was easy? Math is ... For those with math-blood. Yea. I agree T.T But heck, I'LL PERSEVERE.

today's romantic dinner for my brother and i was prepared by yours truly. One casserole of rice mixed with jap seasoning and instant miso soup. I forgot i have a brother with a huge appetite, so he finished all th rice, leaving me with like 3 spoonfuls -.- Hmmm apart from food, school's okay. Pw's finally over. Oh manzzz, i forgot to shake like all their hands and tell them i'll never ever speak to them again for th rest of jc. Got into h3 internal math. Bad choice. Suicide subject. Th calender's packed with alot of activities. Short family holiday in malaysia, followed by philippines service learning trip. On another note, my sister went prom shopping with my mum and grandmum and she bought 2 dresses whilst there was another PURPLE one for me ^^