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still learning to keep a comfortable distance

Way too many ups and downs recently. Sudden state of melancholy after feeling very excited over things.

There is so much that I want to change about myself.

I need to stop procrastinating, start replying messages (!!!) and stop lagging. This was after the realization that karma is biting my ass back. Owellz back to acquaintances again. Don't know why he freaking initiates AND DOESN'T BOTHER REPLYING. Time difference isn't a good enough reason for a 48hr and counting lag grrrrr.

Getting more and more intimidated whenever I walk around in school. Hate the fact that I still don't know my way around. And am in a place with so many foreigners I feel like Im the minority. AND FEELING STUPID. CY was telling M the elitist way of thinking so as to cope with this stress but I don't even think it will help. I don't think where we come from matters here actually. Unless we get special treatment like what S says, AC boys help to polish RJ girls' shoes hahahahah (Y) Yea I wish LOL.

Maybe at the end of it all, if I ever do graduate, I won't regret coming to NUS, just like RJ. Hated RJ during the initial months cos of the why-am-i-at-the-bottom issues but at the end of it all, I still miss school, miss the unifom hehehe, miss how 7-11 and the library is within reasonable enough walking distances from classrooms/lts/canteen, miss the yong tau foo... Going back to RJ on Sat to study was good, feels good knowing that no one recognises you anymore and feeling 18 again (young foreva!) when we wore our raffles shirts. Climbing into an empty classroom (thru the windows!) to study likka boss and going out for dinner at thomson plaza (our first experience with lousy service from a philippino waitress wts) when the security guards were patrolling did bring back some vague memories of M and I climbing back into the classroom in SC during one of our OM meetings. Good old days when we didn't know the seriousness of trespassing ♥

Anyway, RJ looks so pretty now. There is this garden where the open art gallery (inbetween A and B block) used to be at which is quite romantic at night HAHA. After dinner, we studied at this open area next to the classrooms on level 2 B block, with fans, lights and powerpoint sockets and it felt quite therapeutic trying to do CS there at night haha! Oh and on the way back to school, we walked past the bridge linking RJ to RI. There is a rooftop garden there now! Above the CEO's offices lol. Didn't know so much can change within a year :O Owellz changing for the better :)))

Still feeling very bitter about that freaking 1% for EG1109!!! Fugger they changed the deadline from 5pm to 9am without informing us >:(
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