the vet

brought jaunty to the vet today. heh. and i missed church. but i dont really care. jaunty was so super sick that i felt so sad for him. at first, i was relunctant to bring him to the vet. cos i just didnt want him to die yet. but i realised i was so selfish. i should have spared a thought for him. he was suffering, in pain. and putting him to sleep would mean ending all his pain for him. his condition kinda worsened day by day. his scar, it was bleeding so badly, and there was pus all over the scar. and now, his leg, it seemed like there was a blood clot.

at the vet, i was kinda relieved that the vet didnt put him to sleep. but neither was i happy. he still seemed so frail. and the vet plucked out this whole chunk of rotten flesh sticking out of the scar. BUT, it bled even more. i felt so so so so scared for him. it must have been pain. then, the vet said that the injured leg is DEAD, omg. omg. omg. that means jaunty will forever be three-legged. oh man. why? why? why? and he said that leg was in a chronic condition. and it may worsen. and spread to the other parts of the body. oh no. poor thing. the scar may recover, but the injured dead leg will forever not recover. why?

it was so hard to get over mickey's death and now, jaunty may die. oh god, why?